Moose Stories

Stories told to me by Alaskans.
I was driving down the highway, 45 miles an hour, the speed limit, on International Airport Road in Anchorage.  I saw a moose running from the woods and there was no way I was going to get stopped.  The vectors were going to intersect.  I braced for the crash, the moose stopped right at the edge of the road, looked both ways and waited for me to pass.  Only then did that moose cross the road.  Urban moose we call that kind.

I was getting ready to stop at a yellow light in Anchorage with a buddy from the village.  A moose came up to the edge of the sidewalk, stopped, waited for the crosswalk light to turn to walk, and then crossed the street staying between the lines to the other side.  Another urban moose.

I saw a picture of a moose laying down in a little kiddie swimming pool on a hot summer day.

I saw a picture of a moose looking puzzled at a Christmas lighted reindeer.

Buzzwinkle was the name of the moose that got into the fermented crab apples at the bar, staggered into some Christmas lights that strung across his antlers and walked around town both lit and lit up.  Really, there's pictures of Buzzwinkle; I'll show them to you.

I was on an excursion and training class out on the University of Alaska Anchorage campus.  All day we had this moose hanging around and we didn't crowd her.  She had gone into a corner on the campus square, some guy walked in and she must have felt crowded because she ran over and stomped him right to death.  Someone else chimed in, I remember that guy.  Terrible tradegy.  A moose has about six circuits: eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, stomp, run and rut.  It's all over it the moose lights the stomp circuit.  All over.

A moose can kick straight out with his front legs, straight out and nail you with her 1200 pound self.  Yup, I'm much more afraid of moose than I am bear.  At least the bear is a scenient being that you can reason with.  Not the moose, brain the size of a walnut.  Real small for that size of body, don't you think?

I like the moose stories.  Urban moose.  That caused me to snort laugh.