What It Is

Thanks for letting me stay with you Pat and Barbe

Susie at Cosmo's gave me a fresh new look to go back to Alaska.  I was shaggy when I hit Oregon

I'm packing up in the hotel room in Anchorage.  Lots of stuff to pack; big trip to the lower 48 and time spent in my storage unit resulted in my bringing back lots of stuff.  I found my great winter coat.  I have been very warm on top here in Anchorage, even at minus 4 degrees in the morning.
I came back with a ton of gifts: with this awesome stuffed polar bear, portable speakers for listening to Pandora on my new phone, my new phone, movies, a lovely longerberger basket and memories.  There were more gifts, however, I think the most special came in actions.
I had dinner at the house of a friends where I got to sit in the kitchen and listen, talk and share while she cooked.  I love that time with her.  I got to sit around in long underwear with my elders drinking coffee and discussing affairs of the heart.  I had my face taken into the hands of one friend after another as they kissed my face and told me they loved me.   I was cuddled with, loved on and supported fully.

I loved the time around the kitchen table of a friend where we discussed spirituality and the needs of the people I serve.  I went to the concert of my dear friend.  I spent time at Denny's with a friend whom I love getting to know.  I went to her house, hugged her children and felt the peace of being at home.  I went dancing and let myself dance as though I were alone.  Looking around I got the idea that people enjoy joy.  I drove around Salem, familiar and wet with rain.  This visit was about love, about renewal, about finding my way back to stasis for me.  Afterall, everything has been new in my life for months.

I realized during that visit, that though bush planes, avalanche roads, thoughts of long kayaking trips are all exciting, everyone needs the familiar.  I needed a good dose of people who already knew me.  This was the first vacation in a long time where only one or two days had drama.  This vacation was about love, peace and encouragement, toward me and from me.

I didn't think I could come back to so much trauma work.  I did not want to leave the shelter of a new love, created through long nights of communication.  I enjoyed the mysteries of my heart opening to the possibility of a love so connecting on a spiritual level that it caused me to pause and really be in the moment.  You see, this journey in Alaska, though not warmly welcomed by me at first, turns out to be a journey into my own courage, my own faith in my Creator, my own heart and my own need to be loved just the way I am.  Judge and jury, don't need that in my life.  Acceptance as a child of the Creator, priceless.