Linking

Questions come up around love, don't they?  The handling of love, emotion...I would think if someone loves you they would wish you happiness and then say, "Hey, if you're really seeing someone else, I hope that works out for you and if it doesn't, well, I'm right here."  If in the larger picture we're really waiting for someone, if we're really hoping, well, do we stop?  Are we happy for someone if they find love?

In Oregon, the Beaver and  Duck fans are very loyal to their teams.  They root for their teams whether they win or lose.  The Lion's fans don't give up.  The Tiger's fans show tremendous support and loyalty, good year or bad. 

The affairs of the heart, however, are not so clear where loyalty is concerned.  Okay, if one person does not play the game the way another hopes, the person is cut from the team.  Why is it that a sport's team is more important than the people we proclaim to love?

And, who do we choose to let love us in the most important ways?  My friends and certainly a mate, tell me to call day or night if I need something.  I tell them the same.  We practice courtesy around that, and we don't say I have to go to bed because the dog is going to get me up in the morning.  If someone moves far away to take a job because they really had to, we buy the $30.00 webcam camera to keep in touch.

That's the thing about being lazy about love.  If we set the parameters too selfishly just to meet our own needs, if we don't go the extra mile emotionally, if we don't make every effort to show that person that he/she is number 1, someone else will.  I think the thing about love is that we are on the same team, we're pulling together to live and when that stops happening we tend to switch teams.  Interesting, however, is the need for fans and team mates alike to punish the teammate for moving on.

Relationships really are a ton of work; they are about knowing what that person needs the most and making sure we're there to meet as many of those needs as possible.  It means taking the risk to put out our own needs, it means listening hard to what is really being requested, it means being honest with ourselves about how we really feel about what a person is saying and doing to us, it means not invading each other's space with demands and controlling statements, it means letting the person unfold in front of us the way in which the Great Spirit intended.  It certainly does not mean that we can love someone one minute and then be their judge and jury the next.  Sad, really, because that means there was never really unconditional love to begin with.