Wednesday, January 12, 2011

What Really Matters

Hate.  What an interesting right one has.  To hate, to judge, to make suffer, to feel wronged to the point of punishing.
What really matters?  I know that I had a falling out with a friend that really mattered/s to me and chose to continue a relationship with someone who she really felt strongly about.  I chose the person, who now practices active hate toward me, over my friend who really saw this coming.
Now, this caring friend had her third stroke this week.  It is very serious and I am fortunate that she is willing to forgive my not listening to her warnings. 
I am struggling to forgive myself for practicing self righteous anger and not moving forward from a position of love to thank her for truly caring about me.  I can only make a living amend and be the most forgiving person I can be, open myself to listening to my friends and make choices to surround myself with people who love me just the way I am.
This week has taught me a valuable teaching.  Time is of the essence.  I find myself really writing that list of people to whom I humbly owe an amend, especially if I assumed without gathering the facts directly from the person.  I wish us all the presence of mind to truly love.

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