I have been chunking out a 550 page study manual for two weeks now. I have just under two weeks left until I take the examination. I have taken study quizzes, practice exams and read all but 100 pages of the manual. Several years of education are summed up in that manual and in this study process.
Some of the information rocks my world and reminds me why I got into this field. Other of it provides hours of pure tedium as I memorize so many things. I realized, however, from a Native friend that it is important to ask the Creator to help me prepare. So, I have begun to include that request in my daily prayer time.
Circumstances are changing rapidly in my life. I have been forced to face that which I'm willing to sacrifice for a job. I have come to realize that I have spent a lot of time recently dealing with unrealistic expectations toward me and from me. I have not felt safe in my work for a very long time and a recent situation escalated that feeling and sense of threat. I have had to ask myself several questions regarding my own obligation to myself and those outside me that love me and want me safe.
Sometimes, it is hard to see the picture when we're in the frame. In this case, the situation mounted, the expectations toward me, the messages that I would be the problem if I could not handle very difficult situations and all of that has entered my awareness as I take a break from all of it.
So, back to my studies and more on the adventures of life soon.
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