Women of Alaska, the smile of many a newcomer to Alaska is the thought that many of the women act and look like lesbian women down in the lower 48. It's not so much the look, it's the energy. And it's a compliment. It does make it hard for a lesbian woman to arrive in Alaska and know who to ask out on a date. Okay, maybe some of the look indicates a willingness to grab a galeforce wind, motor a skiff out on rough waters and fillet one's own fish, however, that aside, it's still the energy. Yes, the clothing sometimes consists of great boots, jeans or wind pants and fabulous technical season gear. The Subaru vehicles will be complete with Kayak racks. I may have just described myself in some fashion. Let's see: I drive a Subaru, ride bush planes nearly daily to work, own a chainsaw and work in rather lawless settings.
While sitting at my first fundraiser dinner in Homer, a large group of actually quite feminine looking women were announcing that the women of Homer are great. They were telling me it may be hard to find a great man in that there is somewhat of an Alaskan flavor to the men. I listened intently and then they went on to talk about the self sufficient, neat, wise, smart, talented women of Homer. I announced that life had started to look up for me because I bat for the other team. They laughed so hard. And there I was, out in Homer.
I have found a freedom in the clear talking about who I am. Somewhere along the line I had swallowed a huge dose of homophobia and had begun to think that I should not put people through listening to me describe the love in my life because it might make them uncomfortable. Love, the talk of love, making people uncomfortable? And yet, hours are spent discussing ugly events and darkness and negative, fear-making stories....then, I realized that we are also asked not to openly talk about our love for God because that might make people uncomfortable.
I find myself living in a world where talking about the two great loves of my life: God and my beautiful wife, Leigh, might make people uncomfortable. Imagine that. Really, hopefully imagining that makes people uncomfortable.
I am a Native woman, a recovering alcoholic starting my 24th year of sobriety on March 21st (all glory back to the Creator), a lesbian, two-spirited, spirit healer minority, minority, minority. I am supposed to be the silent, marginalized, living on the fringe, lacking a voice, oppressed woman, according to societal expectation, and yet, I have never felt so alive and powerful.
Ahh, I think it has something to do with love. Love from Joan, my adopted mom, and love from my elders in Salem and love from people who have earned the place of family in my life. And most of all, this strength comes from my love both to and from the Creator and from my beautiful spouse. What does all of this have to do with the women of Alaska? Well, I'll tell you. They would be proud of me for standing up, pulling the starter cord on my chainsaw and asking, "Do you really want to tell me that who and how I love is wrong?" Hmmm....
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